Tagged: life

  1. I need a bathing suit like this. For beach party purposes. I also need people I know to have beach parties and then invite me. #SUMMER

    I need a bathing suit like this. For beach party purposes.

    I also need people I know to have beach parties and then invite me.

    #SUMMER

  2. Sometimes I think or say or do something awesome and then sort of panic, like, oh my god! I should share my awesomeness with the internet. But where should I post this gem of a thought I just had? Who is going to appreciate it the most? Tumblr? No, too short, not enough substance. (Why do I equate Tumblr with substance? Because I don’t have a WordPress?) Instagram? But then I need a picture! How long is it? Less than 140 characters? CAN I MAKE IT THAT SHORT?! Sure, sure I can! It was a short thought! And then I post it and I’m all, oh no, what if people on Tumblr needed to read that?! Do they follow me on Twitter? Probably not! I should post it to Tumblr too! But why am I so concerned with sharing my thoughts with strangers? Where did this compulsion come from? Is it a result of my cultural programming? Could my preoccupation with the method of delivery in order to cater to the appropriate audience be a result of being raised in a culture that caters all mediums to an idealized and therefore “appropriate” audience? Am I pushing myself to confront the idea of “ideal” to the point where every day is a struggle to disengage with this idea? A struggle to choose how I interact, how I present and identify myself? Or is this idea really a broader subject? Does it not only make sense that, considering the intersectionality of oppression, that an “ideal” anything must be based on and result in the intersection of an infinite number of subjects both broad and narrow? By critically analyzing how I act with one subject can I determine ways to improve my action in others? By consciously choosing my model of social interaction online am I attempting to offset the damage done by losing the choice of how I must interact within my culture? Is this loss of choice a reflection of a greater loss of identity when viewed through the lens of a culture that denies me agency because of my body and denies me voice because of my lifestyle? Fuck, dude. These are some ISSUES. Also an issue is that I keep seeing something moving in the top of my screen out of the corner of my eye but every time I look directly at it, nothing is moving. It’s starting to really freak me out. BEHOLD THE HUSSY GENIUS. Sometimes I think or say or do something awesome and then sort of panic, like, oh my god! I should share my awesomeness with the internet. But where should I post this gem of a thought I just had? Who is going to appreciate it the most? Tumblr? No, too short, not enough substance. (Why do I equate Tumblr with substance? Because I don’t have a WordPress?) Instagram? But then I need a picture! How long is it? Less than 140 characters? CAN I MAKE IT THAT SHORT?! Sure, sure I can! It was a short thought! And then I post it and I’m all, oh no, what if people on Tumblr needed to read that?! Do they follow me on Twitter? Probably not! I should post it to Tumblr too! But why am I so concerned with sharing my thoughts with strangers? Where did this compulsion come from? Is it a result of my cultural programming? Could my preoccupation with the method of delivery in order to cater to the appropriate audience be a result of being raised in a culture that caters all mediums to an idealized and therefore “appropriate” audience? Am I pushing myself to confront the idea of “ideal” to the point where every day is a struggle to disengage with this idea? A struggle to choose how I interact, how I present and identify myself? Or is this idea really a broader subject? Does it not only make sense that, considering the intersectionality of oppression, that an “ideal” anything must be based on and result in the intersection of an infinite number of subjects both broad and narrow? By critically analyzing how I act with one subject can I determine ways to improve my action in others? By consciously choosing my model of social interaction online am I attempting to offset the damage done by losing the choice of how I must interact within my culture? Is this loss of choice a reflection of a greater loss of identity when viewed through the lens of a culture that denies me agency because of my body and denies me voice because of my lifestyle? Fuck, dude. These are some ISSUES. Also an issue is that I keep seeing something moving in the top of my screen out of the corner of my eye but every time I look directly at it, nothing is moving. It’s starting to really freak me out. BEHOLD THE HUSSY GENIUS.

    Sometimes I think or say or do something awesome and then sort of panic, like, oh my god! I should share my awesomeness with the internet. But where should I post this gem of a thought I just had? Who is going to appreciate it the most? Tumblr? No, too short, not enough substance. (Why do I equate Tumblr with substance? Because I don’t have a WordPress?) Instagram? But then I need a picture! How long is it? Less than 140 characters? CAN I MAKE IT THAT SHORT?! Sure, sure I can! It was a short thought! And then I post it and I’m all, oh no, what if people on Tumblr needed to read that?! Do they follow me on Twitter? Probably not! I should post it to Tumblr too! But why am I so concerned with sharing my thoughts with strangers? Where did this compulsion come from? Is it a result of my cultural programming? Could my preoccupation with the method of delivery in order to cater to the appropriate audience be a result of being raised in a culture that caters all mediums to an idealized and therefore “appropriate” audience? Am I pushing myself to confront the idea of “ideal” to the point where every day is a struggle to disengage with this idea? A struggle to choose how I interact, how I present and identify myself? Or is this idea really a broader subject? Does it not only make sense that, considering the intersectionality of oppression, that an “ideal” anything must be based on and result in the intersection of an infinite number of subjects both broad and narrow? By critically analyzing how I act with one subject can I determine ways to improve my action in others? By consciously choosing my model of social interaction online am I attempting to offset the damage done by losing the choice of how I must interact within my culture? Is this loss of choice a reflection of a greater loss of identity when viewed through the lens of a culture that denies me agency because of my body and denies me voice because of my lifestyle? Fuck, dude. These are some ISSUES. Also an issue is that I keep seeing something moving in the top of my screen out of the corner of my eye but every time I look directly at it, nothing is moving. It’s starting to really freak me out.

    BEHOLD THE HUSSY GENIUS.

  3. Thinking about being passionate

    For the past six days I’ve been sick. Started with laryngitis and then an upper respiratory infection and it’s taking me forever to get over it.

    I’ve been watching movies on Netflix, but it’s starting to bum me out. Movies are all so something that what I’m living right now isn’t. The internet is that way too, right now.

    So I’m doing what any person would do to quell the inanity of many days sick in bed: fangirling.

    Sometimes I worry because I don’t intensely love a lot of things. I’m constantly distracted by the lack of passion in my life. I find myself doing shit because I don’t really know what I’d rather do more. I think about it too much. I want to find things that I really love, but I get too caught up in my own brain. I start to feel weird if I want to buy only clothes that would be practical in a post-zombie-apocalyptic world. Or I start having second thoughts about wanting mermaid hair. I start worrying about what the consequences of being really excited about something can be. I start worrying about what happens when it all ends? Or nothing fantastical happens in my life? Is it all worth the disappointment? I start getting afraid of being really passionate about something.

    And that’s just ridiculously stupid, because everywhere around me are people proving this fear wrong. People I know and love are embracing passions and obsessions and getting away with it; owning it and making really amazing things happen in their lives and the lives of others.

    I think that’s why I love nerds so much: no one is more unabashedly passionate than a nerd. Dr. Who cosplay, Firefly tattoos, a different Star Wars shirt for every day of the week, the drive to collect every edition of Interview with the Vampire ever released, the willingness to travel across the country just for the privilege of being around a thousand other nerds. I love all that shit. And my internet is full of nerds and geeks and fangirls that remind me that I actually love getting really excited about things.

    I’m so glad that the internet exists because otherwise I’d have no one to share all of my excitement with. Sometimes I will forget how wonderful it feels to watch 10 episodes of TNG in a row and then someone will send me an email with a picture of Patrick Stewart with the words, “Saw this, thought of you,” and I’ll remember how good it is to be obsessed with something in a community so encouraging. And I think encouraging obsession can be a really good thing.

    A lot of people are like, “Oh! Everything in moderation, dearie!” But I doubt the potential for anything to be accomplished without obsession. I wouldn’t have gone to Korea and learned about how the Korean pop industry works and conversational Korean if it weren’t for my obsession with kpop. I wouldn’t have ever understood the mechanics of the space-time continuum if I wasn’t obsessed with Star Trek. I wouldn’t have spent hours reading about string theory if it weren’t for Fringe. I wouldn’t know about half the fantastical and magical stuff I know if it wasn’t for Supernatural inspiring me to look it up. I probably wouldn’t be married to Matt if it wasn’t for my obsession with Lestat that made me attracted to the strong, dark, and mysterious types. I wouldn’t be able to understand humanity without my obsession for YA fiction!

    I don’t know, dude, maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe there are consequences for being too obsessed with certain things. All I know is I’ve been watching Big Bang videos for the last hour and I feel a lot better about life.

  4. Yay for seeing people you have not seen in about 6 years and then realizing you live about two blocks from each other! The best. I’ve actually written about Nick before and how awkward we were in high school. I am happy to report we are not quite as awkward now. (Taken with instagram) Yay for seeing people you have not seen in about 6 years and then realizing you live about two blocks from each other! The best. I’ve actually written about Nick before and how awkward we were in high school. I am happy to report we are not quite as awkward now. (Taken with instagram)

    Yay for seeing people you have not seen in about 6 years and then realizing you live about two blocks from each other! The best. I’ve actually written about Nick before and how awkward we were in high school. I am happy to report we are not quite as awkward now. (Taken with instagram)

  5. Today I was sad all day. Today I was sad all day.

    Today I was sad all day.

  6. Days like today

    Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all the bullshit that goes on in the world. I start to feel like it’s all so very hopeless. In a world where Sarah Palin’s stupidity and Anthony Weiner’s bulge get more coverage than terrifying bills being passed in the House of Representatives, it makes me worried for the future.

    Ha! A world where Sarah Palin gets any coverage at all is enough to make anyone lose faith in mankind.

    I think today I’ll stay offline, freak out, and make things.

  7. I have been listening to Nicki Minaj and Pitbull exclusively for the past too long. Now I’m going to go to sleep. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a relationship with the internet. Sometimes we have issues with each other, but instead of talking about it, we bottle it up and it ends up in an explosion of passive-aggressive posts, and snide reblogs. Other times we’re so in love and sexting all the time and it’s like the world is making a movie about us, complete with all the sweetest screenshots. Everything is coming up kittens and hilarious viral videos. But then something will change again and the internet will do something to piss me off, and I’ll avoid it. I’ll admit, it’s hard for me to stay away. But then the internet will do something to prove it still loves me. The internet is really good at pulling me back in —offering emails from far-away friends, cute cat gifs, naked pictures of Rihanna. This relationship is complicated, but damn, I think I’m in love, and this shit is for the long haul, you know? Oh, god. I need to go to sleep. I have been listening to Nicki Minaj and Pitbull exclusively for the past too long. Now I’m going to go to sleep. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a relationship with the internet. Sometimes we have issues with each other, but instead of talking about it, we bottle it up and it ends up in an explosion of passive-aggressive posts, and snide reblogs. Other times we’re so in love and sexting all the time and it’s like the world is making a movie about us, complete with all the sweetest screenshots. Everything is coming up kittens and hilarious viral videos. But then something will change again and the internet will do something to piss me off, and I’ll avoid it. I’ll admit, it’s hard for me to stay away. But then the internet will do something to prove it still loves me. The internet is really good at pulling me back in —offering emails from far-away friends, cute cat gifs, naked pictures of Rihanna. This relationship is complicated, but damn, I think I’m in love, and this shit is for the long haul, you know? Oh, god. I need to go to sleep.

    I have been listening to Nicki Minaj and Pitbull exclusively for the past too long. Now I’m going to go to sleep.

    Sometimes I feel like I’m in a relationship with the internet. Sometimes we have issues with each other, but instead of talking about it, we bottle it up and it ends up in an explosion of passive-aggressive posts, and snide reblogs. Other times we’re so in love and sexting all the time and it’s like the world is making a movie about us, complete with all the sweetest screenshots. Everything is coming up kittens and hilarious viral videos. But then something will change again and the internet will do something to piss me off, and I’ll avoid it. I’ll admit, it’s hard for me to stay away. But then the internet will do something to prove it still loves me. The internet is really good at pulling me back in —offering emails from far-away friends, cute cat gifs, naked pictures of Rihanna. This relationship is complicated, but damn, I think I’m in love, and this shit is for the long haul, you know?

    Oh, god. I need to go to sleep.

  8. Hey internet, today you were great. Thank you. Also, I have been watching John Adams, the HBO mini-series and it is fantastic. So if you like that sort of thing—you know, watching how America became a country and the sacrifices of the men and women who made it free and independent—then you should watch it. Also if you enjoy watching Paul Giamatti being the best actor in the entire world. Hey internet, today you were great. Thank you. Also, I have been watching John Adams, the HBO mini-series and it is fantastic. So if you like that sort of thing—you know, watching how America became a country and the sacrifices of the men and women who made it free and independent—then you should watch it. Also if you enjoy watching Paul Giamatti being the best actor in the entire world.

    Hey internet, today you were great. Thank you.

    Also, I have been watching John Adams, the HBO mini-series and it is fantastic. So if you like that sort of thing—you know, watching how America became a country and the sacrifices of the men and women who made it free and independent—then you should watch it. Also if you enjoy watching Paul Giamatti being the best actor in the entire world.

  9. About to go to Elana’s concert. By myself because no one can go with me. Have been practicing fishtail braids; slowly getting better. Wearing a sparkly cat sweater my students gave me. Previously: drank some of the dragon tears tea students gave me. Never had it before—it was amazing. The night thus far: great. The night to come: can only get better. About to go to Elana’s concert. By myself because no one can go with me. Have been practicing fishtail braids; slowly getting better. Wearing a sparkly cat sweater my students gave me. Previously: drank some of the dragon tears tea students gave me. Never had it before—it was amazing. The night thus far: great. The night to come: can only get better.

    About to go to Elana’s concert. By myself because no one can go with me. Have been practicing fishtail braids; slowly getting better. Wearing a sparkly cat sweater my students gave me. Previously: drank some of the dragon tears tea students gave me. Never had it before—it was amazing. The night thus far: great. The night to come: can only get better.